Thursday, December 13, 2012

Holiday Book Special

Yesterday, my colleague gave me a book that was written in 1960, "And The Poor Get Children". I read it in one day. It's amazing to see how men and women thought about sex, marriage, relationships, raising families, and such. People weren't sure why they got married or had children, or even stayed together, and seemed to do it because that is what was expected. More than fifty years later and the family structure has been virtually obliterated.

My husband wrote a dynamic book, "From Gigolo to Jesus" which begins to answer the questions that for whatever reason couldn't be answered half a century ago. It's raw, unfiltered, and undiluted testimony. Learn why men don't want to be in committed relationships, why they abandon their children, and what can be done to begin repairing the damage. Pick up your copy today at (Tiffany Braxton Belvin)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Making Decisions In The Marriage.

In any marriage decisions have to be made. They will sometimes be very difficult ones which at the time may not make sense to anyone but you and your spouse. Don't worry. Before you two seek outside counsel on what the you need sit down with each other and the Lord. Yes, talk to each and then talk to the Lord together. Praying together over big decisions is adding to the positive outcome. God protects marriages and looks over husbands and wives.

Now if your not a believer in God the messages doesn't have to be lost. What I said before the spiritual part still stands on its own merit. Close ranks and consider what is best for the two of you before you allow others to have say in your union.

Now I am not talking about what to have for dinner. Even though that can create a war or two. I am talking about life changing decisions. Where will we live? Should I leave my job? Should we start a business? Things which have the potential of putting a great amount of stress on the marriage.

Also, make sure you two have taking the time to listen each other's points on the matter. Give each other a chance to have their say on the matter. Decisions have to be shared and so does communication. There is no crystal ball to the outcome but I can promise you this, you'll be better prepared to deal with the negative or positive outcomes when you cling closer to your spouse and the Lord in your decision.

I pray this helps someone. I know it has helped Tiffany and I.

God Bless.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Find that Balance

As I tapped away at my laptop last night, developing one of the characters in my upcoming novel, it brought back memories of KL and me when we first started dating. In my novel, after ending a long term relationship, the character recognizes she has lost much of her personality which people were most attracted to and she attributes it to trying to appease her ex who had a wavering ego. In our "Making Marriage Cool Again" seminars we discuss what it is to make healthy sacrifices for the sake of the relationship and for yourself and how to recognize when you are losing your identity in the process. 

I remember when KL and I first started dating I laid down some ground rules. 1) Men are attracted to me, so check your ego at the door. I know how to handle myself and if I find someone who is not respecting boundaries then I will take care of it. 2)I'm a social butterfly. When I go to parties I'm usually the first one on the dance floor. I am not the one holding up the wall while everyone else is having a good time. 3) I talk with every one. I dance with everyone. That means if we go to a function together don't expect that you will be the only man I dance with. 

KL full of arrogance figured "Who does she think she is? Women are attracted to me too." Of course that went without saying, however he didn't stop to think of what I was actually telling him. I was letting him know that when we went out I wanted him to enjoy himself too. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about dancing with someone else and think that he had to be tied to me at the hip, and also I was absolutely comfortable with him dancing with other women if the circumstance was presented. 

The first time KL and I had the experience of going to a party together was in celebration of my twenty-fifth birthday which was only three months into our relationship. He being nine years older and beginning to show a seasoned salt and pepper beard he was often mistaken as my father, uncle, or older brother. The small lounge had about a hundred people there by the time we arrived and it didn't take time for me to greet my guests, take off my coat, and head to the dance floor. 

During the night one of the guys I was dancing with asked who I was at the lounge with. I responded my fiance. He said, "Really, where is he?" I pointed to KL who had been standing off to the side talking to some friends.The guy then asked, "He doesn't have a problem with you dancing with other people?" I said no he doesn't.

Later on in the evening a woman whom KL had been dancing with said to me, "You are a really cute couple. At first, I didn't realize that you two were together. I like that you dance with each other, but don't have a problem dancing with other people." I told her we're here to have fun and I wouldn't have it any other way. She said, "A lot of women need to be as secure as you." 

Often, I watch couples lose their individual identities and seem to be afraid to be themselves around their partner. I find it humorous because it's as if their personality was taken hostage as soon as their mate walked into the room. They begin to put checks and balances on themselves in an effort to avoid anything that could be misconstrued as a move toward infidelity. They also begin to expect that their partner should react the same. 

Take the party for instance. I have had people tell me, "I don't dance with other people because I don't want my partner dancing with other people" or "I'm not dancing with anyone else so my partner shouldn't dance with anyone else." In many cases, the partner follows suit. Not because they want to, but because they feel obligated to as to not disregard their partners feelings. 

This can begin to strain the relationship. Insecurities begin to cause you to feel and make yourself uncomfortable. You make your partner feel uncomfortable and neither one of you are actually addressing any issues of concern. You are avoiding and hiding them under the guise of being a "good" partner. 

It's not easy to find a comfortable balance of what you are willing to cede in a relationship, however it's always important to recognize whether you are transferring your own feelings of insecurity to your partner or are you allowing their insecurities to be transferred over to you. How much of your sacrifice is because you put checks and balances on yourself due to your own insecurities? Where do you draw the line on how much you allow your partner to influence your actions? -Tiffany Braxton Belvin

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Knowing Your Role

So after over two seasons I finally got KL to watch THE WALKING DEAD on AMC with me. Although horrors are not his cup of tea he did admit the series has good writers. From it's debut I have made correlations between what appears to be the end of the world in this drama and current day events. Where people should be depending on each other more than ever there are still personality traits which impact their ability to get along as well as their survival. The Walking Dead has touched on topics such as racism, domestic violence, infidelity, abortion, suicide and even murder. 
I find it extremely fascinating how the main group interacts with each other. Toward the end of season two there was an exchange between two of the female characters. While Lori chose to tend to the needs of the house; preparing meals, doing laundry, etc. Andrea chose to be on the front line; learning how to shoot, defending against zombies, keeping watch. The conflict came when each of them didn't recognize the value if the other and what theyoffered to theteam. Each discounted the other's worth and felt their duties were more difficult than the other when in reality both parties are needed for thesurvival of the group. KL and I discuss this during our workshops. It's important to recognize the strengths and weaknesses that each person offers to a relationship. Just because someone chooses to contribute in a different manner doesn'tautomatically make their efforts less valuable. In THE WALKING DEAD Lori works to maintain the mental and physical health of the team. Andrea works to maintain the safety of it. They both have their roles. 
Now think about it. What role do you play in your relationship? What are your strengths and weaknesses? -Tiffany Braxton Belvin

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Today made five years of marriage. I couldn't be happier.

As a poet I have never been scared to express my feelings about things. This poem was written in deication to my wife who has made me one of the happiest men on the planter. Here is my words to the Love of my life, Tiffany Braxton Belvin. 

I Would Say I Do All Over Again..

Your smile brightens my world, sending messages God is real.
You’re my Sarah, my Ruth, my Ester and my Mary.
With each look I fall in love with you all over again.
Is this real of course it is.
As real as the day I joked some day you’ll be mine. I told you.
Can you remember when I said I’d be the greatest man you’ve ever known?
Who knew in my arrogance, I was speaking a word to what you’d bring to my life.
We've seen darkness, pain and moments of despair.
There were times when ending this relationship would have been the common choice.
Our tears and moments of pain have always given way to a brighter tomorrow.

We have seen the light which followed the storms.
Together we prayed when there was nothing left for us to do.
Only to see those prayers answered.
I cherish each breath I am blessed to with you.
Can you hear Toni Braxton and Johnny Gill singing us into holy matrimony as we stood with family and friends?
The sun from our day is still felt as the song signaled your arrival.
The pastor asked “Do You Keith and Do You Tiffany” can you still feel the tears of joy as we uttered “I DO!”
Remember how we faced down “Dean” with only our love and prayer then refused to allow even a hurricane to pull us apart.
A year later,
return triumphant to the same spot with the echoes of that great wind whistling in the Jamaican breeze.
Husband and wife, the words are so common but to us so special.
They can never mean to others what they mean to you and I.
I've sworn an oath to love you, cherish you, protect you and even die for you if I have too.
Many don’t understand and some will never comprehend what we have.
You see my Love; I wouldn’t change a thing about you.
Today is our day, the day we became one.
The day the Lord set aside just for us.
Material I don’t have, wealth has yet to be given, yet I am richer than a man can because I have you.
Allow me to wish us peace and mercy in the presence of the world in the eyes of the Father.
No mere gift would be complete or give what we have its due.
You are my wife, the one the Lord has given me.
This is my gift; I stand and shout for all who will listen and those who try not too,
From the bottom of my heart, I would say I do all over again.
K. L. Belvin, Husband of Tiffany Braxton Belvin

Thursday, August 9, 2012

5 Years Ago My Life Changed & I Would Do It all Over Again!

In 3 days, it will make 5 years I have been married to my lovely wife Tiffany Braxton Belvin.

We have been together 12 years, but it 2007 we decided to stop playing married and made it real. There are no words which can explain what the Lord has done for my life by granted me the honor of His blessings. He wrote for all to read

Proverbs 18:22

 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Tiff and I have enjoyed each minute of being married. Do we have much, not in the way many people think. However we are rich. I'll explain, when you love God and want Him to forgive your past, you have to make changes in your life. You have to humble yourself to the idea of a greater being and trust all you do is for a greater good. The Lord understood who I was going to be before I learned to listen him. He placed Tiffany in my life so the building blocks would be in place. All we needed were instructions on how to arrange things. The instructions were given to Tiffany. To save my life, the Lord knew I needed a mate who understood me. She was someone I prayed for. I had experienced love in the past and messed up. I needed a partner who understood all the craziness which made me who I was. In walks Tiffany, her moxy, intelligence, style and of course her beauty were needed for me keep focused. But, it wasn't enough, the missing piece was God, Himself. 

 Once Tiffany gained an understanding of her faith she was able to demand more from me. She drew a line in the sand with my cheating and demanded I make a life altering decision. Tiff didn't say any thing different then what many women say after catching their man cheating and wanting him to change, the difference was, Tiff said, "Its either God and Me or the whores in the streets"  When you staring the one you love in the face and she places God and herself on one side of the cliff and says make a move. Is it really that hard a decision to make. 
This books was created to show the world how I overcame my negative past. Tiff was the first to read it, approve it and she even wrote the forward. 

When you make tough decisions, things don't automatically change because you want it to. Every race begins with a commitment to run it and then one step after another. I needed the push at that time to find the man God created me to be. 5 years later I still love Tiff just as much as I did then. Our love has held up no matter what personal attacks, financial attacks and even nature attacks (we withstood hurricanes Dean and Irene together) have come our way. We have and will faced them together. 

Our anniversary  is more than just another reminder of another year pasted. Its a reminder of a commitment made to God and each other. 

Please share our wedding with us.. We love these videos. We want folks to see we're living what we're asking other couples to consider. 

Tiffany I love You doll!.. 

God Blesss. 

August 12, 2007, in the back yard of my Grandmother and Mother's home.
Video #1

Monday, July 30, 2012

Playing House by Tiffany Braxton Belvin

I refer to unmarried couples living together as "playing house". Each person has the benefit of virtually going through the marital routine, but there is no legal commitment or obligation. There are also no entitlements. (Only 16 states have common law marriages and in some of those states the union had to be created prior to a certain date) 

This came to mind this morning because on yesterday KL's family had to make a difficult decision of taking a member of the family off life support. I don't know what her martial status was, but it made me think how complicated things can get.

Prior to getting married KL and I played house. I remember having a discussion on this very topic of what we would do if either one of us were faced with this same difficult decision. Each of us agreed that we would not want to be on life-sustaining equipment, however imagine if our families felt different.

A situation that is already emotionally taxing is amplified by having to possibly go through litigation to carry out your partner's final requests. Or, Imagine not having any input on a final resting place. Things as simple as what the deceased will wear before they are laid to rest. Maybe, you both talked about sharing a burial plot. Now, because you're technically not family it's decided that you don't get to "rest in peace" with your loved one in the "family's" plot.

I'm throwing some things out there because I know we all have heard our share of horror stories when it comes to playing house. Custody battles. Financial and property wars. Imagine being told you're not his wife/husband you have no say in the matter; family will take care of it.

Yes, you and your partner's family may be on good terms, now, but let your partner have a lucrative income or property assets at the time of their death and see what part of the family tree you sit on.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Growing as a Business Woman and Wife.

Our trip to North Carolina made me realize that God has been preparing me for my path for some time and I didn't even realize it. Author Stacey Harris was the keynote speaker of the event and something she discussed spoke volumes to me. Each of us has our own flame, our purpose in life. Even when we don't recognize it, use it, or even try to put it out God will reignite that flame. Never did I think I would be where I am today. Co-hosting a radio show, conducting seminars, and traveling the country trying to "Make Marriage Cool Again".

Growing up I was extremely shy. It was difficult for me to stand in front of an audience and have all eyes on me. It terrified me. It still does. I remember the very exact day I needed to take control of my fear. It was in middle school. Each student was required to make a presentation in front of the class. It would take a couple of days to get through every student, but I was so happy that I wasn't among the first to be called on. During the first day's presentation I witnessed something I'd never seen before. As one of my classmates began her presentation she stopped mid sentence. I thought she was trying to collect her thoughts, however she began to hyperventilate and she started crying. The teacher took her out of the classroom and when he came back he explained that what we saw was a panic attack. I went home that day thinking to myself I don't ever want that to happen to me.

I had no idea of how to get rid of my fear of public speaking and I was too embarrassed to ask for help. It would be years later, in college, that I would learn how debilitating that fear could be. During a required speech class which I left for the very last of my liberal arts classes a fellow classmate visibly trembled as she gave her presentation. Our instructor later advised us the ability or inability to speak in front of large groups of people will separate the successful from the unsuccessful when we got into "the real world". She said many high paying jobs required you to be able to give presentations, conduct seminars, pitch ideas, and basically try to sell people you by what you are saying. That struck a nerve. I wouldn't be successful if I didn't get over my fear.

It wasn't until I was working for a major telecommunications company that I was forced to confront my fear. Imagine working for a company where its survival is based on communications and I'm afraid to do so. My responsibility was providing customers information over the phone. That was easy. I couldn't see them. They couldn't see me.

I was in the company for three years when an opportunity was presented for anyone who wanted it. The managers needed a new support team. That meant you learned the management job while still in your current title which would help you if you wanted to take on a management role in the future. The interviews were conducted in a glass partitioned office right near my desk. Afraid to put my own name in the pool I watched as each potential candidate went in to have a meeting with the call center manager. Within a week the management team had chosen the select few for their new Acting Management Team.

About a month later, after both the management and acting management team were getting acclimated, my supervisor came to me and told me she wanted to me to begin learning something new in the office. She began showing me the duties of the acting management team. Even though I had not interviewed for the position my supervisor felt that I should be on the team because of my work perfomance. I put the flame out. She reignited it.

I was in the company a total of 12 years and this was an ongoing cycle. I tried to put the flame out and God would reignite it. I was asked to be a co-facilitator for a workshop that would address team dynamics in corporate environments. Then I was asked to be on a committee to improve employee relations which required me to convince my peers to complete a survey which usually had a response rate of less than 50%. I helped improve it to more than 90%. One of my final tasks was when I was asked to conduct a workshop on personal development based on the best-selling book "Who Moved My Cheese?" Every time I was asked to do one of these projects there was a battle inside my head. I knew it would benefit me in the long run, but I was scared out of my wits to have to stand in front of any group of people. I was also scared to say no because it was always in the back of my mind that I would not be successful if I didn't get over my fear.

You would think that after all of that I would have mastered this by now. No. Two years ago I was presented with an opportunity to co-host a radio show with KL. What do you think I did? Of course, I put out my flame. Instead, for almost two months, I sat back and watched as he and his two co-host did their weekly show and I would make notes of what they could do to improve the show. They gave me the unofficial "manager" title. I still don't know when I got sucked into be on air regularly, but it happened. Flame reignited.

Due to circumstance beyond our control the show was cancelled after about six months. A few months later KL and I were presented with the opportunity to do our own show about relationships. My first thought was to say no. There was no way I could co-host a radio show. I thought about it for a couple of days and realized it was time to ignite my own flame. Black Love Radio was born.

Over the years people have seen in me something I thought I was hiding. My flame. My purpose. I have to laugh sometimes because no matter how many times I try to avoid it I was put in a position to have to speak in front of an audience. Even when KL and I were asked to host a Valentine's event at a church in Delaware KL did most of the talking. The pastor said to me you are quiet, but people need to hear from you. Before that night was over a young woman came to me in tears because she said my testimony was helping her.

Although it has improved considerably, I still have trepidation about public speaking. I have to mentally prepare myself, days in advance, when I have a speaking engagement. There are times when I am at an event and I am asked to speak and I wasn't expecting it. It causes some anxiety, however I no longer try to put my flame out. I allow it to glow because I realize it is the purpose that God has given me in life and I understand that my flame may ignite the flame in someone else.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Gift Giving & The Art Work We've Had Done By JNess

As a married couple much of the success Tiffany and I have in marriage started in dating. With our gift giving we decided not to give gifts just because something was new, hot or considered the next best thing. We gave gifts because of the connection to the gift and to each other.

In dating I loved to see my wife smile so I loved surprising her. I knew of a talented designer who created works for full figured women. His name is JNess. Because of he fondness of creating fantastic depictions of full figured women, I had came to enjoy his work. After sending him the pictures I wanted him to work with he created these two pictures for me,,

Tiff was blown away when she received the gift. I loved the way JNess captures her beauty. These were the first in our personal art collection. Well, my vanity wouldn't allow me to stand on the outside looking in. So I contacted JNess again, this time it was for selfish reason. I commissioned Brother Jean again to do some work on a picture of myself. My only fear was I hadn't see any pictures Jness had done of men.. But I trusted his talents. Here is the design he created from the picture I sent him.. I loved the look..

You see when you send JNess the photo he then creates his version of what he sees from your picture. He might change the background add a touch of his talent here and there but all for a positive outcome. When he's done you'll be blow away as  Tiff and I had been.

In 2007 when Tiff and I got married. We decided we weren't going to tell each other what we were giving as marriage gifts. In thinking hard about what to get the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I decided to contact JNess again. This time on a very important project. He had come through before so I figured it can't hurt to trust him again. I sent him a picture Tiff and I had taken at a wedding of friend. Well, with a few changes to the background, JNess hit another home run,, Here is the work he completed for me to give to my brand new wife... 

As you see his work was on point. Now here is the kicker; the original background was on a roof since that is where the wedding was. JNess created the Italy background on his own and it looked tremendous. His talent is unquestionable. JNess has been a major part of our relationship and we offer his services to anyone looking to have great work done. 

In any relationship there are things which will mean more to you and your partner than anyone on the planet. To Tiff and I these portraits are a creative look to our love for each other to enjoy. 

Please remember to contact JNess and Tell hime Tiff and I refered you.

God Bless. 

Friday, July 20, 2012

In Marriage attacks will come.

In a Godly marriage attacks are going to come in many forms. Spiritual and personal attacks will test the faith and reolve of any marriage. The two of you have to turn to God together and ride out the rough waves. Cling to God and each other and wait on the Lord to whisper the answers to one or both of you. Trust your faith its in place for a reason. God loves everyone and smiles on marriages.

1 Corinthians 11:11-12 (NIV) 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12 For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

My wife and I are working hard at setting up engagements to do our seminar on Making Marriage Cool Again.

We want to see married folks as happy as they can be. In our seminar we cover many topics and sub-topics needed to understand what goes into a great Godly marriage,

Here is a segment of the seminar, on Communication,, Please enjoy the video is from our seminar we did in Charlotte, NC July 9th 2012

If you want Tiff and I to come to your church or take part in your event please let us know send inquirers to 

Enjoy God Bless.

MAKING MARRIAGE COOL AGAIN  (the former home of Black Love Radio NY) is up and running.

Tiff and I  may not be on the air at the moment but we will continue with helping couples have the best relationships possible. Our radio show is on temporary hiatus but we have not stopped pursuing the fire God has placed in our hearts.

We are going to do all we can to help everyone reach the highest state of happiness in their relationships. By using our knowledge and experiences from our marriage we are going to cover a multitude of subjects.

For this to work, it requires a back and forth. We want to read your comments and thoughts on all that we post.

Also coming soon is our new book "Making Marriage Cool Again" to accompany of current seminar.

We appreciate and love your support. God Bless

K. L. and Tiffany Braxton Belvin founders of Bravin Publishing LLC


Friday, January 20, 2012

Black Love Radio Hosts, Make the Black Love Issue of Ebony Magazine. How about that!!!

Hello Family, imagine our surprise when a friend from ATL, reaches out on FaceBook and says, guess who I just saw in my new Ebony magazine. We were shocked because we never recieved a confirmation from Ebony that our story was accectped. We were blown away. So when you pick up your copy check out page 96 to see my lovely wife's article about being married to me and our issues than. A mention of my book "From Gigolo to Jesus" which is the story behind the article. We remind people to pick up a copy after reading the article. You will come to understand everything. Also a mention of our company Bravin Publishing LLC.

A true blessing. God is truly great. Please rush out and pick up a copy of the mag, then a copy of "From Gigolo to Jesus" and you get the complete overview of what makes Tiff and I who we are as a couple. Stay Tuned for more of Black Love,,

Saturday, January 7, 2012

We are feature in this months Belle-Noir Magazine.. Black Love is real.

Aja Stubbs has one of the best on-line magazine which supports men and women of size.. Tiff and I had the pleasure of being interviewd in the Jan/Feb edition. Check out pg 48-49 to see what Tiff and I had to say about being in love.. God Bless.